Shamra Willis
Big Billy Goes To The Buffet
Joe Bales
Billy looked longingly at the buffet. The food called his name. “Billy, I am yours to conquer. I have anything you could ever want or need. All you must do is come and get it.” The clean, shiny pans caught Billy’s eye like money would for a poor man. In many ways the aroma was more inviting than the food itself, as it completely filled the room and made its olfactory way to the young boy. An animal on the hunt, Billy attacks the buffet in a mad rush, similar to a bear collecting honey from a beehive.
First comes the rotisserie chicken, two or seven pieces should do. The chicken has a nice golden tan, which makes it even more appealing. Then the macaroni and cheese. Three heaping piles are plopped on his plate, creating a giant, yellow, steaming mountain. Then a baked potato, dissected and stuffed with a clump of smooth creamy butter, oozing sour cream, and sprinkled with cheddar cheese. Next comes the greens (of course you are aware that vegetables are essential to complete any meal). Necessity calls for steamed broccoli smothered in a cheese-flavored sauce. To compliment the broccoli is
corn on the cob, doused in salt and pepper, lathered in butter dispensed from a can. On the way back to the table Billy spies a piece of pizza. Billy picks up the piece of slimy, greasy deliciousness, and rests it on top of the chicken.
At the table Billy examines his spoils. He removes his weapons from their neatly folded napkin holster. The fork nosedives into the macaroni in a swooping motion and flies directly into Billy’s salivating mouth. He clasps the chicken leg in his greasy hand and flings the fowl’s wing into his face and rips off a chunk. The broccoli is catapulted into Billy’s mouth and the corn follows. And as quickly as the meal arrives, it is gone, lost to the deep abyss of Billy’s stomach.
If the food pyramid is a guide for consumption, Billy’s guide is the Valley of the Kings. What one would consider a large, satisfying meal, Billy considers a warm up. Back to the buffet Billy runs, refilling his mountainous plate over and over and over again. While one plate would be fillet mignon and mashed potatoes, another would be German chocolate cake, and another tacos, another turkey.
After twenty-two plates, Billy was beginning to experience stomach fatigue. Unfortunately for Billy’s sake, he did not stop at twenty-two but, rather, made the push for twenty-three. The desire in Billy’s head continued to sing to him: “Just one more steak. You know you want it. Just go ahead and take it.”
Billy marched up to the buffet and ordered one more T-bone steak. Billy marched back to his table and took a seat. He removed the bottle of A1 from its holder and splashed the unholy beef with the dark red sauce. Stabbing the meat with his utensils, Billy raised bite after bite to his mouth. After removing the majority of the meat, Billy was still unsatisfied with his consumption of the beef. He lifted the bone to his face and began to nibble at the edges of the bone.
As Billy bit around the curve of the bone and made his way to the corner, a piece of the bone broke off. Unaware of his imminent demise, Billy continued to chew until he couldn’t breathe. The rebellious bone was lodged in his throat. Billy’s face began to change colors, sweat perspired from his brow, and his heart thumped unmercifully. A man behind Billy attempted to hoist the forbidden object from his throat but to no avail. The defiant piece of food would not be swallowed nor retrieved. And as quickly as the meal began, Billy’s life was brought to an end.