Everything I Am
Javone Hilliard
Damn! Here we go again,
everything I’m not makes me everything I am, everything I’m not makes me everything I am.

People always asking questions like what’s wrong with J, they always tell me
keep my head up and it will be ok, and I just smile cuz’ there’s nothing left for
me to say, cuz’ no one really knows the pain I hide deep away.
Everything I’m not makes me everything I am, everything I’m not makes me everything I am.

Tryna keep a smile through the mist of all the pain is like tryna stay dry in the
mist of all the rain. No matter how much I try to change, the outcome is the
same, I wish I was rich, I can do without the fame. I’m so popular now cuz’ in
grade school I was a lame, but . . .
Everything I’m not makes me everything I am, everything I’m not makes me everything I am.

I’m playing my life like it's chess, I have to think about my next move, My
love broke up with me, I have to think about my next boo. It’s gonna be hard
for me to love because now I have all these problems, even if the next one's
perfect I don’t think she can solve them. For me to fully move on I don’t
know what it’s gonna take, it’s sad that my next girl has to pay for my ex’s
mistakes.
Everything I’m not makes me everything I am, everything I’m not makes me everything I am.

I’m in college but what the hell is that supposed to mean, how can I do big
things when the little things bother me. Imma sophomore, half of my college
career is almost over, girls, partying, and drinking is just another burden on
my shoulder. To think about it that way it’s pretty scary, it brings up a lot of
fear, especially when you got big dreams but it feels like your whole world
drops here.
Everything I’m not makes me everything I am, everything I’m not makes me everything I am.

When I was young I always wrote a wish list, but things ain’t quite merry
when you can’t afford Christmas. And let’s not talk about birthdays, I’m used
to September 6 just being another day. Being the oldest out of the 8 of us
came with a big responsibility, but that helped me become the man that I am
now, that finally hit me.
Everything I’m not makes me everything I am, everything I’m not makes me everything I am.

I never was the richest, nor the wisest, or the dopiest, I always was the ugliest,
the dumbest, and the brokest, but it’s crazy, all the kids that talked and bullied
me had dreams like me, but I got the closest. One day they gon’ ask “hey
Javone James can you sign my posters.” I’m not a person that holds grudges
cuz’ that only makes you more sick, one day you have to learn it’s easier to
forgive than to forget. And when you forgive you won’t forget, it will always
be on your mind, the only way to heal scars and pain is time.
Everything I’m not makes me everything I am, everything I’m not makes me everything I am.

Music is my life, but I also love to write, like Edger Allan Poe on a beat like a
parasite. I can’t write about my whole life, that would take too much time, I
just gave y'al the foundation and put it into a rhyme. In life I learned to keep
moving forward because to LIVE backwards is EVIL, and never to trust
nobody because the truth can be deceivable. And thats why,
Everything I’m not makes me everything I am, everything I’m not makes me . . . . . .
“Everything I Am”