Jordan Lee Ann Osborne

The day I found out about my mom, I hit the floor.
I lay there and cried until I couldn’t see.
I lay there till my breath only caught and my heart stopped
I lay there till my stomach stopped swimming and my world
stopped shaking.
When I stood, my legs refused to be strong and my body
refused to stand tall.
I pulled myself through my doorway and down the stairs,
out the door and to my car.

And as I walked to my car there you were.
There to catch me, fallen apart.
There to be my strength when I felt so weak.
It was you who held fast as I needed an anchor.
It was you who rocked me through the stormy seas of panic
that night and many other nights.
It was you who pushed me through the darkest days and
the terrifying nights.
It was you who reminded me that I was sea worthy.
It was you who kept me afloat and held me above the water.

But it was I.
It was I who decided to drown when I cut away my anchor.